Friday, February 20, 2009

POLLY ELIASON- ARTIST---MORE QUIZ WINNERS--GENERAL MOTORS-- STRANGE BUT TRUE-


ARTIST OF THE WEEK

Artist of the Week - Polly Eliason of Santa Fe, New Mexico
Polly is a business person, homemaker, renowned artist, and--with the exception of her two oldest daughters--has raised an exemplary family.
Polly is one of my nieces, and although she may not be my favorite niece, she is in the top four.



Copyright laws prohibit me from displaying work from her professional portfolio; however, she is also famous in Sanpete County, Utah for her unique rock paintings. In the photo above she is painting the finishing touches on the logo for Skull Valley Ranch, next to an old pioneer house.



Pictured above is one her most famous rock compositions entitled "Desert Waterfowl."




Polly is very popular here in Manti and occasionally thrills the crowds when she appears in our 4th of July Parade with her husband, Marconi.



Polly is pictured above waving to her thousands of fans at last year's parade.



This is Polly with her two oldest daughters, Willow and Piper. Be sure and check out her website at: www.pollyeliasonart.com
I know you will love Polly's work and if you know her, you undoubtedly love her too. She is beautiful, bright, funny, and has taken on the inconceivably difficult task of living with Marconi.




VOO'S FAVORITE SOPRANO BABE

Charmaine Bucco portrayed by Kathrine Narducci




WINNERS: QUIZ #2

Clint Boswell, a.k.a. The Dude* (pictured above with his field trial winning, pointer named Divot)
The Dude scored 20 out of a possible 22 and wins the gift certificate at Cousin Bob's (the value of the gift certificate to be determined at a later date)

*Note: I have known The Dude for 20 years, and can personally vouch for his honesty, integrity, and impeccable citizenship. It is an honor to have him participate in my quiz.




DISQUALIFIED ENTRY
Oil Can


DISQUALIFIED ENTRY
The Wolf

These two gentlemen were disqualified because they corrupted the quiz and engaged in fraudulent, unscrupulous, unethical, unsportsmanlike behaviors.
(What they did was worse shit than Watergate.)
Oil Can* had a perfect score of 22 points (using his typical shady, sleazy techniques),
but that wasn't good enough. He let his ever-present greed take over, and attempted to further enrich himself by selling quiz answers to the dimwitted Wolf.

* Note: Oil Can's personal blog further illustrates what a self-centered, pompous, egotistical ass he really is. The vast majority of the photos on his blog are of himself--many of them showing him holding dead fish that somebody else caught.



2ND PLACE WINNER
Teen Teen a.k.a. Margo, a.k.a. The Leaf-eater
With a score of 19, Teen Teen wins herself another meatloaf dinner with a medium drink at the Sno Cap Lanes.

*Note: Her sister, Opie, was evidently overwhelmed by the complexity of the quiz and failed to even submit an entry. But at least she didn't succumb to the slimy underworld inhabited by The Wolf and Oil Can.



WINNER: QUIZ #3
(Previously known as the "Quiz for those with an elevation impaired IQ")

Joyce Eliason
Joyce is pictured above at one of the many "private" parties she hosted while at Manti High School.


STRANGE BUT TRUE...

The other day Spike and I were walking out of the Manti Red Cross Blood Bank after making our weekly donation. A guy I used to know when I was on the U.S. Olympic Ski team stopped me and said, "Voo, what's the most unique cemetery that you've ever visited?" I said, "That's easy. It's got to be the Hope Cemetery in Barre, Vermont. Barre is the "granite capital" of the U.S., and that granite is used to create some very unique headstones."

Pictured below are some of these headstones:








WHAT'S WRONG WITH GENERAL MOTORS?

It was a boring evening. I had just finished my daily 10-mile run with Spike. I sat down to rest and popped in a video of The Wolf shaving his legs. This is always good for a few laughs. (Spike especially enjoys it.) Suddenly the phone rang. An old friend of mine that I knew when I was doing research at MIT said to me, "Hey Voo, what's wrong with General Motors?" I will tell you blog readers (all 5 of you), what I told him: GM is making great cars. Some of them are getting 40 miles per gallon. The engines will last for 300,000 miles. They are comfortable with great sound systems, satellite radio, and Global Positioning Systems. However, GM (along with the other U.S. automakers) needs to go back to its roots. What these American-made cars lack is something they used to have in abundance..................TAIL FINS!


This 1959 Chev Impala is identical to Voo's first car.


1958 Chrysler


1957 Chrysler



1959 Cadillac--the ultimate in Tail Fins



Another 1959 Cad




1959 Pontiac



1959 Chev




Another 1959 Chev



Another 1959 Cad



1959 Buick



'59 Buick

Sure these cars only got 8 miles per gallon and didn't have any safety features whatsoever,
but they had style!




RANGER BOB'S OUTDOOR TIP OF THE DAY:
USING YOUR WATCH AS A COMPASS


A watch with hands will help you find what direction you are traveling. Hold the watch horizontally and point the hour hand toward the sun. The midpoint between the hour hand and 12:00 o'clock is true south. During daylight savings take the midpoint between the hour hand and 1:00 o'clock to compensate for the one hour difference.

"I have used this son-of-a-bitching method hundreds of times when I have been lost in the forest. I swear by it. It works." --Ranger Bob



RED SOX LEGEND OF THE WEEK


Jimmy Piersall
Brilliant Red Sox right fielder from 1950-57

Piersall suffered a nervous breakdown and wrote a best-selling book named "Fear Strikes Out." The book was also made into a movie starring Anthony Perkins, who had obviously never touched a bat or ball in his life.


DEAD ROCK-N-ROLL LEGEND OF THE WEEK

Bill Haley
Bill Haley and his back-up group, The Comets, started it all in 1955 with "Rock Around the Clock."

Rock until you're dizzy
Roll until you vomit
The only thing I wanted
was to be a Haley's Comet

----original by Voo




FLY OF THE WEEK

The Apprentice



KNOT OF THE WEEK

The Blood Knot

This knot is commonly used by guides to tie two leaders together. A good guide will tie this knot in 30 seconds. I find it very difficult and I'm lucky if I can tie it in 30 minutes.



MORE SISTER PHOTOS

This is Joanne when she was a BYU Cheerleader.




This is Joyce when she was in charge of security on the BYU campus.




News Events:
Teen Teen and Tulip visit from Vermont.
Joanne and Little Martha recover from hand surgeries
Haley and Sarah continue to grow: When will it stop?
Sanpete Ducks Unlimited next weekend


QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"If life were fair, Elvis would be alive, and all his impersonators would be dead."
---Johnny Carson



More fun next week when we'll talk about "How to Be Popular at Church Dances (especially when you don't go to church)"

Also, Spike is getting ready to start his own column on this blog. Watch for it soon!

That's all for now.
Voo has left the building.

11 comments:

Costanza said...

Uncle Voo,
As one of your five faithful blog readers, I will say today's blog was incredibly entertaining and informative. I did know how to tie an Apprentice Knot and in fact...wait...just a second...done! Just did one, bitch! How about that! Costanza rules in knot tying. It doesn't surprise me about Wolf and Oil breaking rules. The Wolf still hasn't returned the gumball machine he stole in 7th grade. There is a rap sheet a mile long on Bionic Wolf.
Also, I did as you instructed Mr. Voo, and I changed the music on my blog. Please go back and read it now and enjoy the psychobilly rock sounds I have there for you. I apologize Mr. Voo, Darren wants to be a good apprentice and not disappoint.
Finally, please, please, please take off those photos of Joanne. She was a cheerleader but those uniforms were not up to Code and she almost got kicked out. Only Joyce, with her credentials as BYU Security Chief, was able to keep Joanne from getting escorted off the campus. I've heard many stories of my mother in those days and my therapist says it's good to get them out in the open.
Polly is the Art Goddess!!
Rock on Voo,
Costanza

cboswell said...

Voo,
I want to thank you for the opportunity to be able to participate in your quiz, although the one I won was a breeze, the one a day after is still stumping me, I don't know if I will be able to finish that one.
I guess we will have to negotiate my gift certificate at the ducks unlimited banquet next weekend. Kelly is giving me permission to come down, but wanted to make it clear to you that if you bought me another dog ( with my money) that I might as well find some place to live in Manti.
It is so sad that Larry and Oil Can would stoop that low for a gift certificate at your Uncle Bobs'. He must have some nice stuff over there, I can't wait!!
I know this is a long shot but if one of the previous winners of your quiz would like to trade the meat loaf dinner for my gift certificate I would like to talk to them.
See you next week,
Clint

Larry said...

you all will be hearing from my attorneys
Wolf

oil can said...

Message to the Wolf... I will share in the attorney costs... however I am confident that he will take it on retainer knowing fair well that he has a slam dunk case against the Voo and his side kick "The Dude"... they conspired against us with out question... I stand by Govenor Majorivitch's comments that I did nothing wrong.. I only offered to sell the quiz answers... but I did not sell them or get any compensation from the offer... So I am guilty? I think N O T !!!!!!

oc

joyce Eliason said...

Vooo - I was never a security officer at BYU. I didn't attend BYU. That photo was from when I was employed at Point of the Mountain.

I liked the Apprentice fly. Really beautiful.

Don't you remember that we used to call sister Joanne "Fear Strikes Out"?

joanne said...

my hand is still under wraps, but luckily, i can still read. thank you for continuing to flash my photos...i love that it freaks philip out, as much of his music choices have done that to me, but he has to face the truth about his mom sometime.
this has been a longggggggggggggg winter, and i think this is the most time karl and i have ever spent together in our married life, and it has been pretty darn ok. he has been very good to help me, but i know one thing for sure..he could never cook thanksgiving dinner.
love your featuring polly...she is one wonderful person, and such a talent.
you are a good brother in your choice of relatives. the end...keep blogging!

jackiewankier said...

So, when am I going to be the featured one? You know I did give that other kidney, the one that took, to your sister...just because I am not an artist or have any claim to fame, other than that kidney thing, doesn't mean I should be discriminated against...Some of us were just born to give, give, give...and I am REALLY tired of giving...so, Voo, please throw me a bone!!! (loved the picture of Joanne in her cheerleading outfit..however, the pictures she has shown me of that time in her life, slightly differ...velvet skirt, down to the ground.

cboswell said...

Voo,
I will gladly give up my gift certificate to uncle Bobs' for a meatloaf dinner your daughter won if it has a salad bar with it. We will have to negotiate the drink.
Clint

Circus Boy said...

Voo- Thanks for the tailfins!!!!!!! My great-grandmother had one of those 59 Chevy Impalas, I believe, or something very similar--with enormous wings. On another note, Voo, you are the only person I know who, IF you ACTUALLY WERE asked what the most interesting cemetery you'd ever seen was--you are the only person EVER that would start your answer with, "Oh, that's easy. . . ." But of course you are right. Barre, VT is one of a kind. Thanks for Ranger Bob's ourdoor tip too. A word of advice about your quizes: Do you think you could possibly consider posting some kind of a sonofabitching ANSWER KEY! at some safe time AFTER it has ened??? Though I scored a perfect ZERO on this last one (well, the last real one), I would still like to know the answers. Thanks for another rockin' dank entry! Counting the days till the next.
Bubba
P.S.- Do your sisters have fan clubs I could maybe join, or web sites I might peruse?

oil can said...

Note to Circus Boy...

Hey Bubba.. if you want the correct answer key for the last and all of Voo's dumb ass quiz questions.. then just drop me a line.. I have all of the answers.... 100% correct... and it will only cost you 1/2 of what the wolf paid... so please send a money order for $25 (personal Checks not accepted) and I will promptly send you the correct answer key... and that's not all.. for another $10 I will train you to answer all of voos questions correct the first time.... every time...

OC

oil can said...

Ok Bubba.. you get these for free...

1. Scotty Moore
2. Roy Rogers’ dog “Bullet
3. Dale Evans
4. William Joseph … Bill “Moose” Skowron
5. Medgar Evers
6. Mark Wayne Clark
7. Richard Hanley Jaeckel
8. Paul Von Hindenburg
9. Gene Tunney
10. Clint Boswel,
11. “The Dude”
12a. “Buzz”.. aka.. DIVOT
12 b. Eartha Kitt
13. Walter Clarence “Dub” Taylor
14. Arthur Neville Chamberlain
15. Audie Murphy
16 Huey Pierce Long
17. Broderick Crawford
18. Scotty Moore
19. Typo
20. John Updike
21. Sharon Tate
22. Major Dick Winters…
p.s. ... This was not cheating.. just a reflection of a quality education obtained at Piute High School in the late 70's.

O.C.

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