Thursday, March 26, 2009

TANGO IN DURANGO 2009

This week's post is a brief report on a family vacation to Durango CO. If you, the reader, happen

to hate families, hate vacations, or just plain hate fun........then this post is not for you.





Spike overlooks our motel, The Residence Inn, on the outskirts of Durango.


Spike and I are on top of Durango Mountain which happens to be the highest mountain in Colorado, next to Pikes Peak. Below is the city of Durango.




VACATION PARTICIPANTS
(Listed below)

THE MARCONI FAMILY





Willow, Marconi, Little Georgia, Derek, and Piper at supper.
(Derek is Piper's boyfriend)





THE WOLF FAMILY





Wyatt, Little Martha, Wolf, and Riley at lunch.








Clover during one of her very infrequent texting time-outs.









Lindsey....Wyatt's girlfriend.






THE MURDOCKS
(Not really family, but just about the same as.)




Naloni (Ted) and Richard (Moochie)











Kadin and Bodie......... brats.





THE WIRE NUT FAMILY







Alex, Opie, Madi, and Hurricane













Littlest Wire Nut.... Lane




THE VOO FAMILY


Zoobie and Voo






FOOD FIGHT


As so often happens, when we all get together, there are a few family members who have trouble behaving respectfully in public places. More and more it seems like Marconi and Little Martha are the instigators of this type of trouble that subsequently effects all of us. This happened to be the case on the second night we were there. Thanks to the Wolf, we had great seats at a fantastic Mexican restaurant. We were all at one table with the exception of Marconi and Lane. (see below)






Marconi became increasingly distraught because Lane was the only one who would sit by him. Before long, as always happens at Marconi's table, Lane became extremely bored with the conversation and was looking for another place to sit. This infuriated Marconi. Suddenly for no apparent reason, he grabbed a tortilla, covered it in whipped cream, and threw it accross the room hitting Little Martha right in the face.

(see below)






Little Martha, as usual, by this time had been hitting the wine pretty good. She had already stolen the chef's hat was being asked to leave by two security guards.








Soon food was flying everywhere. Polly got hit with a burrito. Oppie got a daiquiri dumped on her head. Moochie got a face full of refried beans. Piper got guacamole dumped down her back. Martha tried to laugh it off but the owner of the restrauant did not think it was so funny








Our entire group was escorted out of the restaurant.... even the kids.
We were all officially banned from the premises for one full year with the contigency that we will only be welcomed there if we don't bring Marconi, Little Martha, or Lane.






EIGHT BALL TOURNAMENT

Many of us had great fun playing pool on two of the three nights we were there.
The Wolf and I took on his boys, at least his boys that he has had in wedlock. The boys played a great game of 8 ball, but after two nights of fierce competition the final score stood at eight games to seven in favor of me and Wolfie. As the Wolf said, it was time for the boys to climb on board the L Train. (Losers Train)


WINNERS




Wolf and Voo with someone indicating that they are number one.






LOSERS





Recent passengers on the L Train






Riley and Wyatt after a valiant attempt to drink away their sorrow.






THE W TWINS




Wolf and Willow during a short break at the pool hall.





POOL PALS



Lindsey and Willow formed a terrific friendship while playing 8 ball. Lindsey gave Willow a fake ID, taught Willow how to drink alcohol and saw to it that Willow was never without a drink in her hand. (see above) Lindsey is blending into the family real well.







Wolf basks in the glory.




SKIING IN COLORADO

Some of us spent Saturday on the slopes on our skis. Some of us spent Saturday on the slopes on our asses. The bottom line..... it was a great day.








Here sits the Wolf beaming with self confidence. He certainly doesn't need his ego stroked and I hate to admit it, but next to his dad, Karl, he is the most elegant skier I have ever seen. Even with tin knees he skies with great daring and style.

He makes it look as easy as Oil Can eating a double cheesburger.







Ted and Little Martha


























Kadin and Bodie are really good skiers considering they live in the middle of the New Mexico desert.


























Alex and Madi skied with the big guys.




























Madi





























The Murdocks are excellent skiers too. Moochie used to be a member of the Park City
Ski Patrol.






























Voo landing from a nordic jump.































Opie, Madi, and Clover. (Notice Clover isn't texting)
































Opie, Madi, and Hurricane doing what Hurricane does best... riding the ski lift.


































Opie, Madi, Clover, and Alex take a lunch break.


































Tiny Terrors, Clover, and Voo at the end of a fabulous day of skiing.












Opie, Wolf, and Clover.








Voo doing one of his better jumps.











Wolf doing one of his better spills.



Editor's Note: Sorry that I didn't get any photos of Riley and Wyatt on the slopes, but the little bastards are so fearless and go so fast and that I couldn't keep them in my lens.





SLUMMIN IN DURANGO





Spike sitting by some homeless guy.










Madi, Willow, Alex, Voo, and Spike hoping that someone will buy them some ice cream.




TIME TO GO HOME

Vacation ended too quickly. Everybody is looking forward to next year.




Spike driving us home to Utah.




NEXT BLOG (I promise)

1. F Bomb's movies

2. Jack Forman's cowboy movies.

3. Spike's mailbag










































Friday, March 13, 2009

VOO'S HISTORY LESSON - SPIKES POETRY CORNER--MANTI, THEN AND NOW - RANGER BOB




VOO'S HISTORY LESSON


TURN BACK THE TIME

MEET THE DALTON GANG


No, this is not the South Sanpete School Administrators at work. These deceased young men are members of the famous western outlaw gang called the Dalton Brothers Gang. They had been very successful as train robbers but decided to take a fling at robbing banks. On Oct. 5, 1892 the gang rode into Coffeyville, Kansas, with the intent of outdoing the James gang by robbing two banks at once.



The C.M. Condon Bank and The First National Bank were the intended targets. Several of the townspeople recognized the Daltons who were wearing fake beards. The alarmed town folks armed themselves from the local hardware stores and a shootout occurred. Four town people were killed along with the four gang members pictured above. A fifth gang member, Emmet Dalton, was also shot 23 times but survived and went to prison.



Bob and Grat Dalton are held up by citizens for this photo op right before they went to the other side.







Emmet was sentenced to life in prison in the Kansas penitenary at Lansing. After 14 years he was pardoned and moved to California. He became a real estate agent, author, and actor. He died in 1937 at the age of 66.



Condon Bank in 1892


Bullet holes in bank windows after the shootout.


Condon Bank today......still in business.



This concludes our history lesson for this week.

Hopefully some of you are smarter now about Western history and also about the risks of robbing Coffeyville banks.



RED SOX LEGEND OF THE WEEK

Jackie Jensen could do it all. He was a gold glove right fielder and had a powerful arm. He was very fast and led the league in stolen bases one year. In 1958, as a team mate of Ted Williams, he hit 35 home runs and won the American League MVP. However, Jackie had an intense fear of flying and retired from baseball in his prime because of the Western expansion of baseball, which required long flights. He tragically died in his fifties of a heart attack.


WILLIAM HOLDEN MOVIE OF THE WEEK

THE BRIDGES OF TOKO-RI (1954)



One of the great war stories by James Michner. The movie version stars Holden, Grace Kelly, Fredrick March and Mickey Rooney. An attorney from Denver is called back to active duty during the Korean war. He flies from an aircraft carrier and is assigned the dangerous mission of bombing some highly defended bridges in Korea. Holden is the pilot. He does not want to be there and is full of anxiety about his assigned mission, but does it anyway.


Holden and his buddies end up getting shot in a ditch in Korea. Tragic ending.



ROCK AND ROLL LEGEND OF THE WEEK


Gene Vincent and The Blue Caps

Their number one hit, Be Bop A Lula, will live on forever. It is actually my good friend, Talula's, theme song.




FLY OF THE WEEK


Dark Brown Hendrickson




SKULL SHIRT OF THE WEEK

This is one skull shirt I actually own and am proud to wear.



TREE HOUSE OF THE WEEK (See Below)
You guessed it. This very unique tree house does, in fact, belong to Oil Can and can be seen in his back yard.





Speaking of tree houses. This is a great book for anyone, like me, who enjoys building and occupying huts and forts.



WORLD WAR TWO POSTERS OF THE WEEK




F Bomb and Joe The Plumber are two family members who served honorably in our US Navy.


RANGER BOB'S OUTDOOR TIP OF THE WEEK








Pictured above is everything you would ever need to know about building an emergency shelter, in case of an emergency, when an emergency occurs, and you are faced with an emergency situation and need to take emergency action.
...Ranger Bob


KNOT OF THE WEEK





The Anchor Knot

As you might have guessed, this knot is used to procure your anchor to a rope. Please do not try this knot if you don't have an anchor. It can be very dangerous.




CLASSIC MOVIE OF THE WEEK


THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN (1935)


Widely considered the best of the Frankenstein movies starring Boris Karloff and Elsa Lanchester. Directed by James Whale.

MANTI THEN AND NOW
All old black and white photos below are courtesy. L. Tom Perry Special Collections, Harold B. Lee Library, Brigham Young University, Provo, UT 84602



Looking North from Union Street in 1974


Looking North from Union in 2009. Notice the Red and White Grocery and the big pine trees are completely gone.


Manti Temple under construction 1887


Same view of Temple in 2009



Sanpete County Fairgrounds in the late 1800s.




Fairgrounds in 2009

House at 402 North Main where my famous sisters grew up. Photo above was taken in spring of 2008.


Same location after house was demolished in 2009.



North side of Temple in 1887


Same view 2009

Flooded Manti Main Street in late 1800s. (looking South)



Same view of Main Street in 2009


Manti Temple in 1948 ( notice the wall)


Temple in 1950s. (No wall but many trees)




Temple in 2009 (No wall, no trees, just an ugly damn chain link fence.)




BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND


MORE SISTER PHOTOS

This photo of Joyce and Joanne was taken when they were professional tag team wrestlers working their way through college. They were known as the Manti Maulers. They were undefeated in Sanpete and Sevier Counties and lost only one match in Wayne County to the Brinkerhoff Bitches.





SPIKE'S POETRY CORNER







Spike reading poetry to Alex




An Ode To The French

Some girls wear dresses.
Most boys wear pants
Gather your kittens and
Send them to France.

.... by Spike 2009



What America Means To Me


I love America,
It's the land of the free.
But if your cat is a Commie
Dump his ass in the sea.

....by Spike 2009



Well kids, all the non-fun haters in the family will be in Colorado this weekend for the annual Tango in Durango. The fun-haters who won't be there know who they are. No need to mention names is there Karl and Joanne and Joyce and the Wanks and the Wank kids and F Bomb and Cat Woman and the Berkeley Clan and the Leaf Eaters and Costanza and Jil and Little Voo and Hayley and Milo? May you all enjoy your weekend watching reruns of Gilligan's Island.



Coming soon:

1. A report on the Tango in Durango.
2. F Bomb's favorite war movies.
3. A look of never before photographed scenes of the interior of Graceland West.
4. Jackie's secret high school diary.
5. Marconi's psychiatrist's diary.
6. Wire Nut's favorite electricity books.
7. Costanza's favorite comic books.
8. George W. Bush's favorite coloring books.
9. The Wolf''s leg shaving tips.
10. Hockey Mom's tips on waxing pucks.
11. Teen Teen's tips on cooking pine needles.
12. Spikes mailbag.


That's all folks. I will see some of you in Durango. I will seen some of you at Easter. I will see some of you on the 4th. I will see some of you in Hell.


Quote of the Day

Nobody ever goes there. It's too crowded.
....Yogi Berra


Elvis lives.......................

voo