CITIZENS CAT PATROL

CAT BUSTERS

Harley, the Yellow Lab, and Wanda, the precocious preschooler, are pictured above, doing their part to make the streets of Ephraim, UT, safe from cats and the numerous problems that cats inflict upon humanity. This dynamic duo can be seen, almost daily, patrolling Wanda's neighborhood in Wanda's Convertible Cat Capturing Cruiser. Once a feline is spotted, Harley chases the cat out of the neighborhood and usually out of the city. The results of this city cat cleansing crusade have been astounding. For example:

1. The cat polulation in Wanda's neighboorhood has decreased 87% since March of 2009.

2. Cat attacks on humans in Ephraim have decreased 78% since Jan 1.

3. Cat caused cases of rabies in Wanda's neighborhood are down nearly 68% from this time a year ago.

4. There have been only 2 cases of cat caused swine flu in over 6 months in all of Ephraim City.

5. Lawn mowers and drainage pipes in all of Ephraim City have had less cat hair clogs than ever before.

6. Cat caused allergies have virtually disappeared throughout Ephraim City.

Hats off to these two fine young citizens of Ephraim.

Harley and Wanda are true heroes.

Wanda's motto: "All cats in the pen by two thousand and ten."

MISCELLANOUS STUFF OF GREAT IMPORTANCE

I can't count the number of times that people have called me and asked "Voo, what is the very best way to use a Volkswagon van?"

The first thing that comes to my mind is pictured below.

If you have a Volkswagon, turn it into a mobile pool table and you will be able to rack em up anywhere.




SO LONG TO RED SOX GREAT, DOM DIMAGGO

FEB 2, 1917 MAY 8, 2009

Dom is pictured above right with his buddies Ted Williams and Johnny Pesky.
Ted said of Dom that he was the best centerfielder who ever played.

CEILING FAN OF THE WEEK

This ceiling fan resembles the nose of the famous WWII fighter P40 Warhawk. . The plane was painted with shark teeth and was used by the famous Flying Tigers over the skies of China.

(Christmas hint --- this fan would look great in Voo's living room.)






RANGER BOB'S FIRST AID TIP OF THE WEEK

WRAPPING A SPRAINED ANKLE.

"My wife often sprains her ankle while mowing the lawn or shoveling snow. Sometimes she even breaks it. Using the above pictured method for correctly wrapping a sprained ankle, I am able to secure her foot to her leg in such a manner that she is able to continue her mowing or shoveling with only a minimal amount of pain."

.................Ranger Bob

ATTENTION

RAT FINK REUNION DAYS 2009

JUNE 4, 5, AND 6

MANTI, UTAH

Check the internet for details. Don't miss it.

ATTENTION ALL GOPHERS IN SANPETE COUNTY

WARNING WARNING WARNING

Mr. Gopher

"Listen up you little burr browed burrowing bastards. No matter how deep you may dig, no matter how extensive you construct your tunnels, I will find you."

.................Spike

ROCK N ROLL LEGEND OF THE WEEK

LITTLE RICHARD

Who can ever forget such 50s hits as Tutti Frutti, Lucille, Jenny Jenny, Rip It Up, and Good Golly Miss Molly.

"You still rock, Little Richard. You helped set the standard for true rock n roll. Costanza should spend more time listening to Little Richard and less time listening to that weird shit that has warped his mind.
.........voo

WORLD WAR II POSTER OF THE WEEK

TANK OF THE WEEK

WORLD WAR I BRITISH TANK









RANGER BOB'S BOOK CLUB

THE SEXY VIXEN by Hank Janson

Her insatiable desire for men triggered a crime of passion.


"This is the best book I have ever read."

........Ranger Bob

DUCK OF THE WEEK

MALLARD

MARILYN MONROE ART PRINT OF THE WEEK

NUMBER OF THE WEEK - NINE

The number 9 is a great number. It was Ted William's number. There are 9 players on a baseball team and 9 innings in a game. There are 9 minus 2 days in the week and 9 plus 3 months in a year. It is a constant and dependable number. For example: Add 5 and 4 and you will always get 9. Divide 27 by 3 and you will never get anything but nine. The square root of 81 is always 9. It would be nice of all the numbers were as dependable as 9.

WORLD WAR II AIRPLANE NOSE ART OF THE WEEK









INVENTION OF THE WEEK

SHOE UMBRELLAS








RED SOX PLAYER OF THE WEEK

JACOBY ELLSBURY

Twenty-two game hitting streak with 20 stolen bases for the season.

DOG INVENTION OF THE WEEK

This dog window can easily be installed in any fence. It enables your canine buddy to, not only look through the fence, but to also look up and down the street. This is a must for all dog lovers. I have ordered one for Spike for Christmas.

.......voo







WORLD WAR TWO FIGHTER PLANE OF THE WEEK

P38 LIGHTNING





CLASSIC CAR OF THE WEEK

1960 CHEV IMPALA

Love those tail fins.






SKULL SHIRT OF THE WEEK

1950s SI FI MOVIE OF THE WEEK

THIS ISLAND EARTH 1955

This science fiction classic starred Faith Domergue who is a Joyce Eliason look-a-like.

RANGER BOB'S KNOT OF THE WEEK

HANSON KNOT

This is a great knot for tying a strong loop. Not to be confused with The Jensen Knot, Olsen Knot, Larsen Knot, Anderson Knot, Petersen Knot, or Gottfredson Knot. (God forbid the Gottfredson Knot)

.....Ranger Bob







FLY OF THE WEEK

TARTAN FLY
This fly orginated in Scotland and is a very good looking fly.



ONE QUESTION QUIZ

At one time in the 1940s, eight young men were put on trial in the United States. Six of them were found guilty and executed by the electric chair. The other two were sentenced to life in prison. None of them had ever killed anyone, kidnapped anyone, or committed any acts of terrorism.

Question: Who were they, what was their crime, and why were their sentences so severe?

send answers to jeliason@fbfs.com

The first one with the correct answer will get to ride with The Dude as he pulls the Barber Brothers float in the Manti 4th of July Parade. If the Dude should win, he will get to ride in the Andy Cox Electric truck during the Manti Christmas Light Parade.


QUOTE OF THE WEEK

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

..........Jack Benny

That's all for now---------------- voo